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Duck Dynasty Jumps the Shark

Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images

I like Duck Dynasty as much as the next guy.  Uncle Si’s redneck repartee is amusing.  I also admire the humility, work ethic and values promoted by the Robertson clan.  But there comes a point when the hype officially becomes overkill.  That moment arrived for me this weekend, when I saw a morbidly obese man purchasing a Duck Dynasty fleece throw blanket.

These days, you can’t walk through a Wal-Mart without seeing at least 50 Duck Dynasty items.  It’s only a matter of time before they officially dedicate an entire section of the store just for Duck Commander merchandise.  Uncle Si recently wrote a book for Christ’s sake.  The fact that Silas Robertson is a best selling author is truly one of the lowest points in the history of literature.  Every time someone buys Uncle Si’s biography, William Shakespeare rolls over in his grave.  If Johannes Gutenberg were alive today, he’d be kicking himself for inventing the printing press.

And don’t even get me started on their Christmas album.

No matter how much you enjoy the show, regardless of how much you admire the family, quit buying this crap.  It’s reached critical mass and it needs to stop.  Frankly, I’m concerned that this madness may cause me to harm myself or others.

I hate to say it, but from this point forward, any adult I see wearing a “Happy, Happy, Happy” t-shirt will be subjected to a dirty look.  If I hear someone utter the phrase, “now we’re cooking with peanut oil”, I may be forced to flip them off.  And if you are carrying an official Uncle Si plastic tea cup, I might even cuss you out.  Sorry,  I can’t help it.

Please, can we put an end to this nonsense?  Thank you and Happy Holidays.

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